As I continue on the rebirth path, I can’t help thinking, what if? Once upon a time I had a great love that I let temporary circumstances take a permanent toll.
What if I had stayed? What if I didn’t leave? What would my life look like now? What would I look like? Would I be happier? Would I be healthier and fit? Would I have my son’s and grandson? Would I have different children? Would we still be in love the way we were then? Is what we feel now a fantasy rekindling of an old flame? Well, more than a flame. Flames burn out. Ours never has.
So, “what if ?” is usually a waste of time. We can’t go back, but I want to move forward holding onto the me that I was and can be again only more mature.
I feel stronger these few short weeks of talking with my sweety pie of old. It has opened my heart, mind, and body to a youthful exuberance I haven’t felt in years, decades. I am alive! I want to live! I am a beautiful soul in a weakened body, that is getting healthier and stronger everyday.
I have a long way to go to get where I am going. But now I am exercising, dancing, swimming, and best of all smiling. Love and joy have empowered me to not only rekindle this rebirth of my soul but to be younger.
So once upon a time I loved and lived with my perfect match, then walked away. What if I hadn’t, we both imagined that life and we know, deeply know, it would have been amazing. No matter how good or bad our lives have turned out, we would have been beyond anything. And although we are content with our lives now, we are happy to have rekindled that part of us that we lost so long ago. It truly has brought us back to life. And incidentally it’s making us happier which is infecting our current lives with this joy.
My husband says, I am happy you are so happy. And he is. And I am. And we are.
It all boils down to love.