Crooked Creek is a tributary to the Allegheny River in western Pennsylvania. My new home. Welcome back crookedcreekcrafts.com I have started again.
The long drawn-out struggle with my marriage has finally come to an end. We were divorced on September 3rd. I am once again Miss Miller. I have moved to Pennsylvania, which I’ve never lived in before, so it’s a new adventure.
I find myself just loving it here, the fresh air, the mountains, the rivers and all the bridges. Also very friendly people Western Pennsylvania. I know it’s going to snow and it’s going to be really different than Florida in the winter time, but already the fall is starting to happen and the colors are starting to change. I’m excited about having Four Seasons a year instead of one and a half.
I’m listening to music and working hard to get my house decorated and clean. It’s coming right along. I’ve got a yard. I’ll plant flowers and a garden. However there is a groundhog living out there. I’ve got to deal with him somehow. But if you’re going to be this close to Punxsutawney I guess you better have your own groundhog right?
I stopped blogging as my marriage was disintegrating due to judgmental reaction by my husband’s family member. I have released those blogs again publicly since we are divorced now. I’m sorry that we both had to go through so much pain to end this.
I do love him and always will but we couldn’t really live together and be our best selves. It’s like we had this idea of what we should be together but we couldn’t achieve it. He would find fault and pick on me rather than encourage. I would get angry and frustrated and cry, going deeper into a wallow and binge mentality.
He didn’t even notice how much weight I had lost. When I brought home new clothes because I lost so much weight my clothes were falling off of me he thought they were too small. He was surprised when they actually fit me. These new small clothes. It was like he saw me as bigger; he still did not find me attractive because to him I was still The Other woman. Though he did notice my personality changing. That was the worst part for him, he did not like the new me. The true me. The happy healthy me.
His attitude would spiral me out of control because I wanted him to appreciate the changes. But he didn’t, he wanted me to be that same sad girl sitting on the couch and eating. I cannot go back to being a couch potato.
As soon as we decided that a divorce was necessary, he started looking for my replacement. He couldn’t bear the thought a being alone. He became much more social and started going out with friends and doing things. Things I’d always wanted him to do with me but he wouldn’t. Just proved to me that he was unhappy with us together too. Without me, he started to have a life.
Though he really misses me now and appreciates what he has lost, we are both going to be happier having a more active lifestyle.
That being said, I moved to PA with a friend here who had helped and encouraged me on my journey to wellness. However all I have done the past two months is work. First packing to move, then moving while getting divorced. It has been hard. I have not had anytime for regular exercise nor been able to spend any real time with my friend.
I have been alone here for the past week. My son helped me a few days, but there was so much work to do. My friend helped too.
I guess I’m going to have to get out and start having a life of my own. I need to make some friends and get some exercise and get back to my healthy lifestyle. If I don’t I’m just going to fail all over again and I can’t let that happen.
I beat diabetes. I broke it! It’s out of my system. I am no longer on any medications. I still have a little ways to go, but I am going to get there. And I will stay there the rest of my life.
Like this bridge I want to be sleek in a beautiful environment. I can’t fall into the same pattern of depending upon the the care and love from another person to be my source of joy. I have to love myself and take care of myself.
Although everyone needs friends and I am not an exception; I just can’t let my joy or my happiness depend upon other people. I have to rely on myself and be joyful within.
The conclusion that I have come to in this journey is that you have take care of yourself and love yourself in order to be well. I love you Miss Miller take care and grow stronger.